Adventures in Adulting: Taking Little Steps to Change

Change is continuous. It is consuming. It happens perpetually, whether you want it to or not.
I tend to embrace change because it means progress and different horizons to pursue.

To me, change is another adventure.
This past year and a half has been full of change and full of adventures.  From the big changes, moving in with my then boyfriend, getting engaged starting a new job and then getting married...  Let's say, it's been a crazy whirlwind. I feel like I haven't stopped moving in a very long time.

I can say that I've embraced those big changes.  I've enjoyed those changes.  I've always adapted to the big changes.  After the first year living in Italy, it became second nature to blend to my surroundings and circumstance...
I guess it's easy to make the big changes.  You either roll with the punches or you get punched...
Surprisingly, of all the big changes this year, getting married has had the lightest impact...  The difference from  getting engaged, to being married has been small. The biggest change was actually the move in together. It's more difficult to create a household.  You have to adapt to each other's habits, both good and bad. For example, Baros has to put up with me leaving my clothes all over the place, forgetting to clean, not doing the dishes promptly etc.  I have to throw away his watermelon rinds. My habits are far more obnoxious.
My new job also changed our lives pretty drastically.  My schedule went from being a crazy split where I was working from 8am to 1pm and then again from 6pm to 10pm to a typical 9 to 5 job.  Now I can have a social life even if I do have a crazier commute.  Before I could walk to and from work in 20 minutes.  Now I take the bus, to the light rail, to the train.  It's an hour and 20 minutes in which I either fall asleep. I was a teacher before so now that I'm not, I don't have homework coming home with me, no grades after midnight, no lesson planning.  Overall, we can socialize with friends more and sleep on a more regular schedule.


I'm not sure why I struggle with small changes.  Inherently, small changes feel like they should be easier.  They're small, not life changing in big ways and yet I struggle with them regularly.
I struggle to change my tidiness habits (I'm definitely not as neat as I should be and I don't seem to actively notice when dust or grime collect).  It's hard to control my belongings and ultimately my space as a result.  That's ultimately why I went on my my clothes purge and desk toss last weekend.  I needed to get the stuff under control in a big way.  But wouldn't it be easier to do it a little at a time?  I guess?
I think this weekend more cleaning/purging shall be happening too (stay tuned for more updates here!)

And more recently than not, I'm finding it hard to manage my food and exercise habits.  Each habit is something small individually, but altogether they seem to pile up.  And as a result I've gained quite a bit of weight.

Two years ago, I went to the gym 4-5 times a week. Until I rehurt my knee, and subsequently started to experience tendinitis in my ankle I really enjoyed working out.  I love lifting weights and challenging myself to be better.  I hate cardio but it was always a necessary evil. I think my eating habits were roughly the same but I know I paid more attention to what I was consuming.

Gym selfie about a year and a half ago

about 6 months ago: one of my last gym sessions

Even though my body has healed (for the most part), with the change of job and apartment, getting back onto a regular gym schedule has not happened.  I'm tired and can't seem to make myself go. One little step.  I pay for the gym but I can't get there.  Actually, I should say, I'm too lazy to walk there.

So I know I should address the eating aspect of life because I can definitely control what goes into my body,  but I find it difficult to plan.  It feels overwhelming to "diet" in a healthy way without becoming obsessive.  And yet, in my attempt not to obsess, I've gained weight and unhealthy habits.

So much so that I now need to squeeze into a dress for September.  Sooo bring on the forced diet.

That's okay because I know I have to make some changes.  I have to treat myself and my surroundings better but I'm overwhelmed with these changes.  Individually small, but overall I have a lot to do.

Adding exercise to my life should not be more daunting than moving in with a significant other.
Eating healthier and cutting back on junkfood should not feel like a monumental task.

So yesterday, I started exercising again.  My ankle is feeling a little better so I walked up the giant staircase down the cliff to the main road after taking the light rail.  After dinner (which was unhealthy but easy), we did a couple of blogilates workouts (yes, I made my husband participate).  I love blogilates but I haven't done it in so long that it was tiring and I feel sore today but I did a couple more blogilates videos tonight too.

I rejoined Sparkpeople today.  It's an online diet and fitness community that enables you to track your food and fitness while connecting with other people trying to accomplish the same goals.  I used to use it back in college and I had done well with it and lost weight then.  So I'm going to try it again.  It has a lot of cool features (some of which are new to me). I set myself a short term goal and I can use it to track what I'm eating and how much I'm exercising.  I'm not sure if I'll use their meal planning but it's there for ideas.

So I'm starting to take some small steps towards change... I'm accepting the challenge for real now.
I guess I'm writing this so I hold myself accountable.  Now everyone knows what's up.